Sponge bath it is.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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