dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
