I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
As shirtless as possible
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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