Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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