hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
