I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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