well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
