im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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