Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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