Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
