oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i wish my penis had a tongue
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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