I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize