I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
