she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
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