We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
