I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
