Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
