whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We don't watch enough power rangers
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
