I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
