I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
