I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
