Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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