I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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