At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
