I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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