It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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