woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We are all done wearing pants today
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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