ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
