How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Your penis caused this!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
