break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
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