i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
