i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
