This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
