Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I think people are normalizing furries
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
