Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
