just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
