my sisters under your porch take her home
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
