Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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