Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
