idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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