Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
