What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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