We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Even my vagina gasped.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
