just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
