nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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