dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I have fence marks all over my body
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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