You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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