Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
