Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Rumble strips road head = magical
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
