I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I stole a fireplace last night.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
