Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
